Anita – yes it is a conflict I am having with myself.  I had more self-respect than this…or so I thought.  Or maybe I can think of it as I am STRONG enough to try to forgive and I trust myself ENOUGH to know that if this ever happen again that would be the end for me and I am STRONG enough to make it through whatever the outcome.  Instead of beating myself up for “putting up” with this.  Because really I am not “putting up” with it. I have made it very clear that this is NOT okay and that I do not deserve to be cheated on and I have told him and SHOWED him the hurt this caused me.  Instead of being disappointed I can think of it as WOW – I am even stronger than I thought to be able to forgive and learn from this experience and move forward.   I hope he and I are able to grow from this as we have both made it clear we want to work things out.  I might have to shift my perspective about why I am staying and not feel like I am betraying myself.