Dear Anita

Okay, I’ll watch it today in the evening. Thank you. She keeps saying I don’t like her, and I want to move out from her, that I’m scared of her, and “just move out already and you’ll be happy without me”. she says this without realizing, I don’t know how to explain it, she thinks from her perspective. she doesn’t realize I am in fact scared of her, and instead of changing it right now she makes me feel guilty that I’m a bad person because I don’t like my own mother and I’m scared of her and want to move out, what a bad child I am. that doesn’t help. makes me feel really guilty when for past months I was a bit excited about this, now I feel more and more anxiety.

I can’t sleep at night, I wake up every hour or half an hour with my body all hot and wet and my heart racing. I’m scared. It’s since Saturday, since that last meeting with that guy, I don’t know if it’s what he told me or what has happened or this moving out. I can’t calm down and lost weight already because I can’t eat. Anita thank you for being here. I always consider you to be wise and calm, I don’t know if you are always calm, you used to tell me you still have some anxiety sometimes. But I always feel you manage it so well and I can’t even deal with one panic attack which happens for the hundredth time. You wrote you moved out but you kept visiting your mother, I never knew that. Could you tell me more about that please, of course if you feel comfortable. You always seem so strong and so perfect at dealing with everything and I can’t even compare. I hope you understand correctly.