Dear Delta,

I’m from an Islamic, Pakistani family and I relate completely to your troubles.

First of all, it is not a “mommy issues story”, it is the story of thousands of women who are treated and held accountable

for being born a woman. Your mother was also a victim of this toxic mentality and you too are a victim.

Your mother has been a toxic presence in your life and passed her on Insecurities and fears onto you, unintentionally. You wouldn’t be wrong to turn away from her if that’s where your comfort lies. However, forgiveness is more nurturing.

Your mother is the root cause of that nagging, toxic voice in your head and as hard as it is, you must ignore that voice and tell it to be quiet. For example, if you are looking yourself in the mirror and the voice in your mind is saying “you look bad” , respond with “shut up voice, I’m beautiful.” This was taught to me by a friend who took therapy and it may seem ridiculous and childish but evantually the voice will vanish. You won’t notice it as much and you’ll feel lighter without it.

Yours sincerely,

Arisha