Dear Kay:

“How can I change my view of my mother to heal?”- It is scary for a child to see an unloving mother as unloving, and when we don’t feel strong enough as adults (and you are a very young adult) we are still scared to see the mother as she really is. It may take the safe feeling in the  context of psychotherapy with a capable therapist for you to gradually view your mother as she is.

“How can I learn to be okay knowing my family cannot give me the relationships I always wanted with them?”- form the relationship you always wanted with a person who is not family. Choose a person who will fit the relationship you always needed, one who is capable and willing to be in the relationship you need. Learn interpersonal skills like assertiveness and practice those within the relationship. Treat each other with Empathy and Respect.

anita