Hi Robert,

Let me begin by noting the positive side of you. Anyone who wants to be happy is inherently heading in the right direction. You do want your relationship with your wife and family to work. Maybe the ways in which you are trying is probably not working.

Your true feelings should never be hidden because that is just never possible to act discordant from it. if you have someone to talk to about the way you truly feel take their help. Preferably this should be someone who will not judge you and who really cares about you. even if someone like that is not there, journalling your thoughts will help you find the direction.

Trying to get something that was in the past is sometimes futile rather focusing on whatever small thing is working for you now should be the way forward. Do things that make you feel good about yourself and keep building on it.

Take care