Hes very focused on building his financial struggle up, hes decided to be a personal trainer, his going to do some modelling now and he might be coaching part time at our gym as well as online English teaching. I love that his growing his ambition and goals. I of coarse am a little concerned about him not having time for me and for us. but if i want us to work long term i have to grow with him before he outgrows me. This may be harsh and a horrible things for me thing for me to be thinking but its very possible. He has told me before that love bubbles him in and makes him lose focus on his goals, So on one hand things are progressing between us as we balance out our day to day lives but i feel i should focus on building hobbies outside our relationship because he feels very boxed in and guilty to do things without me. I dont really have close friends anymore and im very picky with who i surround myself with. Hes my best friend but i dont want to limit him in anyway even though its very hard and i still hold alot of  pain because of what happened 2 months ago. We havent had any conversation about the break or gotten any closure and i feel myself becoming a little dependent on him because of the insecurities i have and the fears that i hold inside. He doesnt know how much the break damaged me and i dont want him to see me as weak or needy. Its difficult to juggle my unresolved pain and progress in my self growth. but ill take it one day at a time.

He wants to go hiking with his friend on sunday and i got a little disappointed because he told me he would take me to this specific place to hike and ive asked him to plan a romantic date and its been 2 weeks and ive still not been taking on that date, i told him id be happy if he just plans something romantic at home but for the last 2 nights his little sister has been sleeping over at our place so we havent had much opportunity to be alone at the right time to have a good heart to heart conversation.

I cant tell if he wants to grow a life with me or if hes just building his own life and theres a good chance once his doing better he will flake on me again.