Thank you. I am definitely considering this approach because right now he has full control due to knowing i am still inlove with him. he wants to go see a movie, he takes me places with him and he checks up on me when he senses some distance. all this caring behavior yet he says we still on a break. while im at work he doesnt text me if he does its very blunt and emotionless. but as soon as he fetches me he seems happy to see me and wants to have bubbly conversations he even speaks in hes gentle loving voice. I have made changes to my approach and mind in hopes to get a reaction out of him and so far its drawn him closer. he was very cold and emotionless towards me when i was going through my depression. i have to take responsibility for being needy during our relationship and also not following my dreams, but when i asked him to give me a chance to change and to improve our relationship he was dealing with his own inner crises and didnt have the patients and strength to endure back and forth relationship emotional negotiations. he says he has to focus on himself and his career and he doesn’t care what sacrifices it takes. so at this point hes not mentally ready to be won over by a relationship, we are so very close and this is the guy who said he wants to love me forever and he was looking at sharing a future with me but things got very complicated and we started clashing heads alot after his last failure(his an MMA fighter) about 2 months ago. he wasnt being the man i know him to be and that caused me to become overbearing and at times needed to mother him cause his lack of initiative and motivation. He may have been going through a depression without me knowing and i may have come across as a horrible woman at a time he felt vulnerable. so now hes put up so much walls regarding our relationship and i feel that i just need to give it time and slowly prove to him that this break has grown me into a different woman and im in a much better and mature headspace. Our relationship has been a great responsibility for him and he did everything to keep me happy but that in the end costed him his happiness and freedom which i feel wasnt fair and i want to desperately show him i trust him and want to do whatever it takes to bring him happiness as he did for me. Time is the only thing that can heal him at this point, he turns to me for any kind of support and to share his progress with. Hes talking about jobs that he can bring in extra money and buying a car as we current move around on a scooter. So as messed up as it seems theres so many signs that he isnt ready to completely let go, he just feels alot of pressure as a man and girlfriend emotional responsibilities are alot to take on during this battle his facing. He wants me to be independent and strong so thats what im striving for. He openly shares his attraction for me and he opens up about his vulnerable side that nobody else sees so my female mind is in distress because of the title not being clear but i feel if i just take into account his actions, he very much still wants to be with me, he just needs more evidence of  a healthier, happier and more independent woman. If i suspect anymore dishonest behavior i will simply call him out and break up with him. I dont care if we still live together, he is very affected by my cold treatment and it pains him but i will then focus on myself completely and not nurture his feelings and ego any longer.

Thank you Anita.

I have taken your advice on making him feel im okay with the “relationship” that he is having with me.

Its difficult to see him have mixed feelings about being in a relationship with me. i have been looking out for both positive and negative signs and so far he is undoubtedly conflicted inside. He has a major obsession with being one of the best MMA fighters. He doesnt allow himself to be too absorbed into his feelings for me so he distracts himself.

We went out with my male friends the other night ( he said that im always hanging out with him and hes friends so its only fair that he come out with me and my friends) that statement alone gave me a positive sign. So the whole night he seemed to be quite protective of me when my male friend tried to get close or connect with me too much. For the first time i felt overwhelmed with his clingy behavior when my friend was dancing too close. That night when we got home he had a lot to say about my friend being pathetic and that hes going to try get along with him. He keeps talking about what he’d like us to do together, like go to dance classes and he even said we should dance more around the house cause it creates good vibes. But even with hes jealousy, he still has this mixed feelings. he sometimes seems emotionally disconnected and then at times he says hes a baby and wants me to hold him and play with his hair. He seems to be very lost in the emotions department ( which he usually has a control on). I just would like to know what would be the best thing for me to do to win his heart and mind over.

He might have a tendency to want to be cared for and nurtured at times, so that leads me to believe he does seek a motherly type of care from his girlfriend. He also is a ruthless MMA fighter who shows no mercy nor weakness so him being vulnerable with me scares me because im afraid due to his current quarter life crisis he will push me away due to the vulnerability he feels with me. He has a crazy need to be invincible and limitless and he feels that a relationship can restrict him and enable him to reach his full potential. He obviously felt he wasnt succeeding in our relationship before the break and he also wasnt succeeding in his career… he literally struggled to motivate himself on a daily bases. Since we’ve been on a break i have given him space and have not made him feel like he has to answer to me, So with this freedom he has managed to get himself out of the gutter and find his passion and drive for his career again. But he still is battling with financial problems and i am the only one who has a steady income. Money has never been a problem in our relationship because i fell inlove with him and never pressured him into providing for me. Still today i never make it his responsibility to provide, he is chasing his dreams and i fully support him win or lose. We have such a great support system and foundation to our life.. i have been his number one fan and an amazing girlfriend (The perfect girlfriend) he would say. He says we got stuck in a pattern and thats why we began to argue and butt heads. We dont talk about the break or our relationship… we just chat, laugh, play, cook and go about our business with the elephant in the room. I want to wait till he is ready to speak about us. i indirectly drop hints to show him ive matured and am in a much happier place. He may start to get comfortable with this idea of no commitment but getting all the best parts of having a girlfriend which i want to avoid. I feel that he is slowly getting attached to me again and i need him to really remember how amazing our relationship can be before i raise the steaks of losing me. He needs to remember that we have a irreplaceable bond and love. Im waiting for the right time where he will try behave territorial over me and i want to make it clear that he has requested a break and he doesnt have the right to take ownership of me… hoping that will encourage him to commit. Is that a good approach? or what should i do?

We  both use to be very social beings, we loved exploring and over the past 2 years we just strayed from everyone else and got caught up in our love bubble, we got comfortable and set in a day to day pattern that didnt help us grow as young adults. My boyfriend is all about living to the fullest and experiencing lifes adventures so another reason his questioning our relationship is that its getting so serious, we started arguing about stupid things and we weren’t being youthful and adventures anymore. I want us to incorporate that adventuress side back into our relationship, we felt like a boring married couple and i want us to be that spontaneous vibrant people we once were when we met. I obviously cant ask him for this.. i will have to just initiate spontaneous adventures and surprise him for a bit.