New update: so I saw him at the gym on friday and he didn’t kiss me goodbye and I was a bit anxious so I told someone close to me and they told me they think he doesn’t love me anymore and wants to leave me. It triggered me so so bad and I panicked, I texted him saying we had to talk. I told him that I’m scared he doesnt want me around and we argued. He said he’s just unhappy because of his life and I got scared because he was so defensive even tho i understand why. We argued on the phone for about an hour. Usually he’s very sweet when I’m anxious but he was…cruel this time. He said some crappy things and I know people say stuff when they’re angry but I’m hurt. I asked him if he was happy with me and he paused and said “not right now with this conversation” and I said “I mean in general” and he paused again and said he’s so unhappy with his life that nothing is making him happy. And I feel like he’s being honest because if I was the source, wouldn’t he have left by now? He said he’s sorry if his unhappiness seeps into our texts and when we see each other. Anyways he got really frustated so he said he was going to bed and he loves me and we got off the phone. He texted me a while later saying goodnight and that he’s sorry for upsetting me. We’re okay now but everything he said keeps rotating in my head…I’ve experienced depression before, I know what it does to people, and I hate that my anxiety makes it about me. I hate it. I love him a lot and it wasn’t like this before. I am happy with him, 100%. I just want us to get through this. My friends say relationships aren’t perfect and this was our first big fight and I agree with them but I can’t seem to get my anxiety to calm down.