Dear Felix:

“I am not a loser in any world. I am loser inside my head… I’ve lost weight, getting seriously (into) shape, living a healthy life, having an amazing job, traveling for work and being able to see beautiful places… I just feel the pain inside and I don’t know what to do with it”- what a powerful testimony of the brain being the place where we experience life, that place in between our ears, this is where we live.

“I feel like I lost so much that I am far too deep down the well to be able to climb out of it”- I suppose you lost hopes and dreams you had for your life.

You wrote: “I don’t care about money, superficial things.. I don’t need anything, but somewhere to live… The credit debt and the school loans.. I am paying almost 50% of my wages… Once, if ever, I pay off the debt, I will be able to live again”

Having read your many shares in previous threads (under a different account), I think that you are not being honest with yourself. I think that you do care about money, a whole lot. If you didn’t care about money you wouldn’t be bothered so much by your debt because you currently have all the things  you stated that you definitely need, “somewhere to live, my dog, my health, my job”. You have these things now and had these things for years.

What you don’t have is the wealth you dreamed of having. And so, as you complain yet again about women who look for money in LA, as you complain about the materialistic society in LA, you are very much part of it, holding the same values.

anita