Dear Lara:

No problem on my end, you replying whenever you can, days after even months after is fine.

“Yes, definitely energy without an outlet”- agreed. You asked if I found a way to deal better with blurting out stuff- I know I stopped that part. Still have some Tourette’s tics and the urge to do the OCD compulsions is way, way weaker, hardly exists.

I would say that the main thing that was helpful  to me was to be physically away from my mother. But then, when I was with her again, all my distress returned. Over time any progress I made away from her was undone by the visits. Being in her presence triggered that energy without an outlet. I had to do what I always did, stay even though I wanted to run, be polite even though I wanted to fight (the Flight/ Fight reactions blocked).

I finally cut all contact with her and that was very helpful, I was no longer stuck with her, unable to run or fight. Basically what I did by ending contact with her was the Flight option. I ran.

anita