Dear Lispol:

She told you that “she knows how to lie and tell people what they want to hear, and she says she’s good at it”, and that is all she said, in a confident, proud voice?

She didn’t add that she doesn’t like that about herself, that she is bothered by lying, that she wants to be honest?

If the answer to my first question is yes and to my second question, it is no, then she lies and is proud of it, therefore, she is not motivated to change. She is motivated to continue to lie.

You asked: “How can I trust anything she says now?” – if you continue to try to trust her, you will continue to feel that you are “the crazy, paranoid, over sensitive one” and therefore you will continue to “feel like crap”.

You “so want to believe what she’s saying”, but you shouldn’t.

You stated that you love her so much and you are afraid to lose her. If you can manage to not lose yourself (to the belief that you are crazy, paranoid and over sensitive), then keep her in your life. If you continue to lose yourself, you lose what matters most to you, and that is, you.

As you communicate with her and observe family events happening, did you try to be in peace with the fact that she lies, that she tells people what they want to hear and succeeds in appearing to be the favorite, the one most esteemed, and you the way less favorite and esteemed than her? If so, how did it work- or not- for you?

anita