Dear Ayumi:

Hello to you too, Ayumi. Welcome to the Forums.

I need the answers to these questions so to understand:

1. You wrote: “In the last 6 months, I’ve suggested a break (temporary one) twice”. Question: was your motivation to have a break in the relationship or did you threaten a break so to cause him distress and in so doing, cause him to spend more time with you?

Will it be okay with you that he neglects his studies so to spend more time with you?

2. You wrote: “I feel like I’m always making him feel inadequate… I don’t make him feel like he will ever be enough for me”.What specifically did you say to him that you think communicated to him that he is inadequate and will never be enough for you?

3. You mentioned “in the heat of the moment of an argument”. How often do the two  of you argue, who starts the arguments, and what is it that you say to him in the heat of an argument?

What does he say to you in the heat of an argument?

I will be back to the computer in a couple of hours and if you answer by then I will reply further.

anita