DefinitelynotJessicaAlba,

This is what I gleaned from your first posting:
…he’s not nearly as present and involved as he used to be.
…he’ll cancel those without telling me and then say it was because I didn’t want to go.
…asked him to wake me up so I can cook for him and he won’t do it.
…always his family never mine and it’s always where he wants to go and what he wants to do.
…It was like pulling teeth to get him to let me see my grandmother and cousins and he made it completely clear he didn’t want to be there.
…accused me of being recalcitrant.
…walked away and left me there alone.
…boyfriend’s complete failure to stand up for me
…saying how silly it was to have a ceremony.
…basically makes fun of me every time I show him what I’m doing in the interim or how I plan to salvage this.
…refusing to sit down with me for the ten minutes I needed from him
…I feel buried alive.
….cannot give up any more of myself and he and his mother seem insistent that I do.
…I have died enough already.
…does not take criticism well.
…I have to be a person though.

My take what are “little” things make up a relationship.  They add up.  They pray on your self esteem, your joy, your happiness, your energy.

Your remarks are telling “I have died enough already.”  How you characterized your boyfriend is someone who really does not love you as you need to be loved.

I do not see consideration or respect from him to you.

If I’m going to marry this guy he needs to put me first 

From all what you said about his and his family, that ain’t gonna happen.  Good luck with that.  There is no motivation for him to change.

I am a firm believer in “what you see is what you get.”  You don’t marry someone with the hopes that they will change.  This will only get worse rather then better.

Mark