Dear Lily

Your statements

And in the case of my brief encounter with that man, I fear that I might have hurt him. I probably have. I wasn’t able to give him the feeling that he is loved. He doesn’t want to talk to me it seems. I also won’t call him again, as I want to respect his decision. Even though I wish we could talk at least one final time about what happened.

I’m just wondering about: what did I do wrong? But I know, I should have taken it more slowly. I worry about what he might think and if he is okay. If he is indeed sick? It would be so terrible if he got sick because of me.

These are not the words of a toxic person. These to me are from a person who is concerned for others, someone who is considerate of another person’s wishes, someone who respects others.

About your experiences with your other friends, as you have written there are specific different situations which need their individual solutions. Labeling yourself as not a good friend or difficult person is not a good idea as you work on your solutions.

Glad to know the writing is helping you. It really does by crystallizing our thoughts and helping us see it an objective way. Keep writing.

Wish the best for you.