Dear noname:

I hope there is something more useful about my previous post, that not escalating practice, I think there is a lot there that can help you if you practice it.

Regarding the friend behind whom you live, part of the reason you are friends with him, or all of the reason is that you live behind his house and he promised you that he will not have other people rent that house in the next couple of years. This reminds me of when you shared, if I remember correctly, that you have to be in contact with your father because you use a car he loaned you, and that you have to be in contact with your mother because your sister lives there with her.

My experience is that unless and until  our past is resolved enough, we keep re-living it. Your alone life experience and the compromises you make (above paragraph) are the re-living of your childhood experience where you were indeed very much alone and miserable and you had to live with your parents just as you “have to” be in contact with your mother and your father and the man in the house in front.

anita