Dear Lauren:

I thought you might feel badly about what I shared with you the first part of my recent post. Of course, that was not my intent just as your intent was not to cause me to feel that dread. I shared because it brings me closer to understanding my own daily fear. And by sharing, I hope to express what I know is true: that every one of us feels fear every day.

Another thing is the issue of responsibility: you are not at all responsible for me feeling that dread. That dread was established long before I came across you on this site.. long before you were born.

Remember this, as you share honestly with people, just as you shared your appreciation of me (honest, loving, really), that you are not responsible what that triggers in a person.

Following the triggering, I was able to quickly appreciate your intent and kindness.

Connecting the issue of personal responsibility, you are not responsible for this man’s behavior with you, his inclinations, those were also established long before you came into his life.

I can see that you are angry at him. There were hopes and dreams after all, for you. Should you at all keep a friendly relationship with him or maybe better you end all friendly interactions with him, keeping it purely professional, zero communication that is not related to work?

anita