Dear Stybabe:

“I was growing up and seeing my dad was cheated my mother”.

Your boyfriend hid “some personal issues” from you because, he said, he didn’t want you “to be worried/involved” but you believed that hiding was a form of cheating, correct?

If you repeatedly questioned him, accused him, pointed to a lot of his words and actions, or lack of actions as “proofs” or grounds for your suspicion, then I understand why “he feels exhausted by our relationship”. It is “too much pressure” to be treated like a criminal, always under suspicion.

“My intention was never like that or do anything to hurt him”- I understand that your intention was to feel better, to relieve your anxiety. Problem is that this very intention (the italicized)is what drives a lot of people to abuse others, just for that purpose.

“While we were arguing I said many things that I shouldn’t say, they were really bad content. I hurt him deeply”- you abused him. “he hates me now”- that is the consequence of your abuse of him. And so, I would answer “Am I too much to my ex?”- yes.

“I don’t understand why he ran away.”- too much pressure, I am thinking, just like he told you.

“I don’t know what should I do”- accept the ending of this relationship, and do all you can to heal from your hurt and anger over your father cheating on your mother as well as other hurts that you still suffer from. Best you can do for yourself and for the future good man in your life is to heal. How about psychotherapy/ counseling?

anita