Dear BanI:

What you have with this new man is a feeling. A strong, convincing feeling, but still, just a feeling. You want to “find a decent guy for (yourself) and settle down. Why not start a search for a decent guy? There is a way to go about such a search in a planned, sensible way.

The aim of the search will be what you really want, a loving relationship with a decent man. The aim of re-experiencing a feeling is not a good aim. What if you felt this way about this man because you were lonely for too long, like a person hungry and coming across a freshly baked pizza? What if it was a combination of factors, the music, getting “a little drunk” and other factors that acted together to create that feeling?

Clearly, he is not very decent because throughout the whole night he acted as if he did not have a girlfriend.

I hope you post again with your thoughts and feelings.

anita