This is something that consumes me on a daily basis. I try my best to overcome these mental loops of anxiety by staying present and trying my best to detach from these fearful thoughts but I will find myself in moments of panic whenever random thoughts pertaining to the whole thing arise out of the blue, and especially when there is external stimuli such as an actress I see on T.V who I know in real life is a lesbian, or for example whenever I just even hear the word come up. I begin to panic thinking that these are signs from the universe trying to tell me something and by this point the mental loop has flooded my reality and I am in a conversation with myself about whether I am or not.

I know that ultimately I am the one who is in control, and that it’s my job to un-train this mental loop, by doing things such as coconut suggested I do, and I have read many books about the power of the mind and our thoughts and it all resonates so well with me and I recognize it as true and find myself feeling hopeful that I can get back to the place that I was before this anxiety was sparked, but I feel like it’s so strong after six months of programming that I end up feeding into these fearful thoughts eventually and fall right back in.

I have a hard time detaching from any of the thoughts because at this point they are so emotionally affirmed that I don’t even think about being anxious, my body just does the job on it’s own.

I am having a difficult time understanding why I can’t just change this…