It’s getting to the point to where I just want to resign and accept being a lesbian because every single day these thoughts are on repeat and cause me so much turmoil inside that it makes me just want to die.

But I can’t do that, I can’t just come out as a lesbian because I’m not. I’ve tried on many occasions to picture myself being with a woman, dating a woman, and even marrying a woman and every time I scrunch my face up because I don’t like the idea of it. But then my mind questions that, “am I just in denial?”

I’ve given so much power to my mind, and I have heard that what you give energy to will eventually grow and manifest into your life. I feel like I am getting to a point of no return where I won’t be able to change my mind because of how obsessively concerned I’ve been about this and how emotionally attached I’ve become.