Stupid decision is to end myself. My friend says i cant do it since people who can just do it don’t go abut telling it. It is just that  sometimes it tempts me. I cant handle the pain of losing that him. You r right i was a victim of abuse and it started at 6, i didnt get to trust any person in my extended family or friends. I have had trouble since then but in him i had found someone with whom i can keep sharing anything and everything and he used to listen. We both used to love our long roadtrips. Just that it stopped mattering to him what happens to me. I dont know what i miss – him or my old time when i dont had to face this truth. I could have just stayed on like his mom does.