So sorry, I initially responded via return email so it didn’t post on the forum. I absolutely agree that I need to reach out so he does not internalize this, it’s not his burden, it’s mine. I wasn’t initially going to out of respect for his heavy school and work load. He doesn’t need emotional heartache on top of all the pressure he’s under. However, he deserves some sense of self validation and apology for hurting him.   Also, thank you for giving me some clarity on this. It’s hard sometimes  to see the forest for the trees and yes I was breaking down. I hope to eventually write him a letter explaining what happened when I understand it all a little better myself. I think I should get some counseling,  I feel ill equipped to handle this without guidance. I want to handle this without causing anyone anymore pain from my backlash of high emotion. If anyone has any other advice or words of wisdom please share them. I need the helping hand. With love and gratitude, Cat.