I did pretend that I didn’t hear my friends say mean things to themselves, Lara. At the time, I didn’t know how to deal with it. Their impulses didn’t affect our friendship. And I’m pretty weird myself, so I figured that there was no use in judging! 😀

Perhaps the definition of coprolalia resonates more with your speech habit: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coprolalia. (The Wikipedia article on Tourette’s lead me to the article on coprolalia.) This article may also be useful: https://www.tourette.org/resource/understanding-coprolalia/.

Even if you don’t understand the reasons why this is happening, it’s best to not judge yourself as much as possible. Be gentle and kind to yourself. If necessary, inform people of your habit, so that they can become aware of it and not be offended. I just remembered that there was a boy at school who had coprolalia and Tourette’s; all the students and teachers had been informed about it, so they knew what to expect. With time, he and his friends were even able to laugh about his impulsive speech, which took the weight off his shoulders.

You’ve come a long way in dealing with depression and fear, Lara. It’s a good sign that you don’t believe it when you say to yourself, “You’re a bad person”. Repetition doesn’t make it more real unless you believe it. It might feel a bit crazy to have 2 voices going on in your mind at once (I don’t have an impulsive speech habit, but my inner critic can be super mean), but it IS possible to embrace them and succeed in life nonetheless.

Have you tried keeping a log of your habit or any of the other suggestions mentioned above yet? Please let us know!