Dear Laurie:

While being away from the computer for a while, something you wrote today came back to my mind, you wrote: “I did things with this guy that I feel so ashamed. Sexual things I wish I had never done”.

One thing is very clear to me, and that is that your pain is intense and lasting, has been going on for so very long, as a result and following this relationship. I am not suggesting that you detail here those sexual things you referred to, wouldn’t want you to re-experience that shame you mentioned, but if you want to express- without giving any details of the sexual acts- the shame you feel over those, please do and I will respond empathetically and respectfully to you.

I know shame only too well and I know it in a sexual context as well. It may help if you type those feelings away on the screen.

anita