Hello Anita,

Yes, right?  What am I waiting for?

I have come very close to leaving, even if it would be temporary.  But when I think about why I would do that, it would be to send a strong message to him that I am tired of what our marriage is and tired of being the one working on the relationship.  I’d leave and treat him the way he treats me – as if he is invisible, his needs don’t matter, his schedule doesn’t matter, no communication, no interaction, nothing.  But then I think this sounds very immature and juvenile.

Mark, I did write a brief note to my husband the other night.   He had something to eat for lunch that had a lot of garlic and I tried to tell him in a nice way that I could smell it, and it was strong.  He took this as criticism, complained that I am always negative and shut down. I cannot say anything negative to him whatsoever because he takes it as criticism.  This too is an impossible standard for a relationship.

In my note, though, I apologized and said I am tired.  I said that maybe a good place for us to start is with both of us being honest about what we want and need from each other and from our marriage.

He didn’t respond, and has now left for a 4 day golf outing.

Airene