Anita,

as a mother figure, yes. I did feel closer to my grandma (and an aunt, actually, as well, but it wasn’t super positive too, because I was never a priority at all to her). Particularly during my teenage years it was so obvious how my grandma knew me (particularly when I was doing something wrong) but my mom was completely oblivious to everything. I mean, this is somewhat true even to this day. I think my grandma even at 97 and not really in touch with me anymore is more in tune with me than my mom whom I talk to every day. She just does not know me!

No, I don’t understand why I never had the chance to have a relationship, long or brief, good or bad, with anyone. It destroys my soul. I think that having religious beliefs (the spirits, guides, etc) make it worse because then it sort of feels like a punishment, or that it’s my fault, or that I’m being ignored…