Dear anita

Thank you again for posting.

You’re right – I cannot separate from my mother. I will find a way to be the person I want to be for myself. I now realise that I’ve been looking for approval for my both parents, which is not the way to live. I think it started when I got ill – it’s the time when young persons, like myself at the time, are trying to live their own life. Instead, I needed all the help and since then I became / become too attached. Anita, thank you so much for this insight. This is more than therapy, because you are honest.  I appreciate that.

In the meantime, I realise how much pain I caused with the affair: my husband, who doesn’t know what I’ve been doing, the man I got involved with and myself. Sometimes I want to start fresh and say the truth, but then I risk that he might leave me. The guilt is all over towards my husband. Somewhere in the thread, somebody wrote that this man who’ve I got involved with, could be toxic himself. He asked me to make a decision – to choose between him or my husband – I didn’t respect that and now he’s angry.

Riris