Dear Notebookb6:

You wrote: “There is a lack of bonding between my family members… they (parents) have a mindset of money is everything and didn’t emphasize in family bonding”- a child needs bonding as desperately as needing food. Naturally the child reaches out to the parent/s for that bonding. The fact that you didn’t experience bonding with your parents means that they rejected your reaching out to them. You tried and tried and were rejected. A child being repeatedly rejected this way feels alone, anxious and angry.

The anger is visible in your description of the relationship you regret, in that “bad attitude”, you mentioned.

I was wondering about a sentence you wrote earlier regarding your ex boyfriend: “I didn’t reflect myself on behavior at that time, because he didn’t show much emotion and didn’t get mad at me when I did that”- you mean that you were rude to him but he didn’t express any hurt or anger at you (?) so you didn’t know that it bothered him, you thought he didn’t mind you being rude to him?

anita