@anita

“EAR, which stands for Empathy, Assertiveness and Respect.”

Thank you for the words, could you elaborate more on Assertive? Does it mean to take initiative to contact them?

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Speaking on friendships problem which I’m trying to solve, there is been a long time since I didn’t take initiative in maintaining friendships with my friends even I like them due to some reason :
1. social anxiety
2. fear of being judged
3. fear of betrayal

There is one time my favourite group of friends organized an annual party at one of their house, I wanted to go so badly but I turned down the invitation by some excuses. I worried about being awkward at there and my anxiety could happen (blushed face, hand shaking). In the end, I stayed alone at home and feel sad for didn’t join the party. I know they are good people but my mind would constantly imagine of these negative situation.

Besides, I have the tendency of confusing about good friends and romantic crush. I easily have a crush on opposite-sex friends when we are getting closer, which this has happened few times while I’m in a relationship with ex. I had a good friend of opposite-sex who we get along well after some time passes, I would imagine myself together with him in a relationship, then I questioned myself if I’m having crush on him, and I will feel guilty when the answer is yes, and when I’m guilty I would have anxiety. How to stop these vicious cycle which happens more than once?

Besides easily develop crush on friends/coworkers, I also noticed that I like to compare myself with other female coworkers. I would get jealous if other females are doing better jobs than me, more popular than me among friends, I would get jealous if one of the females became good friends with my guy good friend too. I know this is wrong and unhealthy, this pattern has formed for a long time without me noticing until the recent year. What should I do to fix it?