Shelby,

Next to our posts at the top in the light gray stripe that has the date and time in it, on the far right on some it says “report reply” and others it says “edit”, if you could edit the post (if it is possible) so it says ”

Shelby, Kkasxo ,

So in terms of my breakup I will go into detail, I have been hesitant because I feel like by talking about it its real if that makes sense (for example, referring to him as an “ex” is weird and hits me with a wave of nostalgia, loss etc all at once).

I broke up with him because I felt like I had become an anxious person and my issues were affecting the relationship to the point where I felt like I was becoming toxic.

The reason I am going through heartbreak is because I feel like I could fight for the relationship if I really tried. I hate that after years of issues that I dont feel like I have the energy in me for such a serious relationship, I need a break.

I didnt want to break up, I wanted a break (maybe 6 months or something) but he either does a relationship or friends.

Could this have been avoided? Yes, if we had communicated properly, But ultimately I feel like the stress of life just made me lose myself and Idk how I went from “lets get married” to “meh” in 6 months. Im devastated because we nearly had our happy ending, he had ordered an engagement ring yet I found that out on the night a few months ago where I broke up with him.

I think i’m healing quicker than I expected because I almost have subconsciously emotionally left the relationship before I ended it.

Currently I keep wanting to call him, go to therapy etc and work things out but I know that I would be doing it because I feel awful for hurting him and I know that if we are reunited then it has to be when I have learnt to live again and after ive worked on myself. But im also questioning the decision every day.

I hope this helps clarify things.”

That would be helpful.

“Im extremely lucky that the people I surround myself with are true genuine and caring people.” – that’s wonderful! (:

“find a new tribe!” – I find that I am someone who has many friends from different walks in life which can at times feel like I dont have any because I’m not part of some big group (I am aware though that thats my inner child worrying though and its irrational).

“I am supposed to be staying at a friends tonight. She as a small baby which is a distraction but she also suffers with severe anxiety herself at times and really gets it.” – a baby will definately be a distraction haha I’m sorry to hear that she also suffers from severe anxiety as well, but at least you can ride the rollercoaster together and understand where each other comes from (:

I’ve tidied my room a bit and just got some food. I’m currently avoiding the kitchen because there’s a big spider hiding somewhere haha In addition to this somehow I have applied to about 20 jobs which I’m proud of myself for being I get a lot of job anxiety but it would help me feel more in independent. I hate living off savings because I every bit of money I spend I can’t earn it back. I’ve even applied to be an elf in a grotto! Which I would genuinely love (:

Btw if you cant edit or remove the post its fine (: It’s not like I’ve said anything on hear I wouldn’t say to anyone in real life.

,

V

• This reply was modified 6 years, 2 months ago by Victoria.