Dear Sierra:

You are welcome. You wrote about him: “He has a really big heart” and that “He always tells me I’m beautiful and that he’s in love”. But “He also says derogatory things”, including calling you a b**& and the n word. You told him to stop but he didn’t: “I always tell him not to but he still does so”. He points his finger in your face, flicks your forehead and gets in your face.When you assert yourself with him regarding the above, he says you are over dramatic and shouldn’t be angry. “he says that I don’t do the things he wants me to  do”, and he tells you that he is a good boyfriend and that you are a bad girlfriend.

I suppose a good girlfriend in his mind will say thank you when he calls her names, will do whatever he tells her to do, will never assert herself, and lower her eyes and head when he points a finger in her face, and whisper: I am bad, you are good, I will do anything you want me to do because I want to be good.

I hope you don’t become a good girlfriend in his mind, that you instead end this relationship and I feel badly for the next young woman that gets involved with him, I wish he didn’t continue to be a bad boyfriend and person.

anita