Dear Ben:

What I will write next is true to you, to me and to every person in the world: we become who we become in the context of our relationships with our care takers during those formative years of our childhoods. When you live away from your parents, as an adult, you have the opportunity to become who you choose to be, for form yourself somewhat. But when you return to the company of your parents, you are back to who you were before, in relation to them.

It is sort of the price to pay so to enjoy some comfort that may be in their presence: the price of being who you were with them, in your case, not good enough, not adequate, weak, unacceptable.

Do you see it too, that hope is in forming yourself, in choosing who you are, away from your parents?

anita