Dear Ben:

You are in a tough situation, but not a hopeless one.

“I’m just waiting”- that is hopeless. Hardly ever does it happen that what you need to happens… happens. You can wait and wait your whole life and nothing happens.

If your parents can afford and will pay for quality psychotherapy for you, do take advantage of it. You deserve this kind of help from them.

Focus on your work life, aim at advancing in that area. Keep in mind that your personal development depends on staying away from your parents, not living with them, not looking for their advice or input, and to have limited, controlled interactions with them. There is also very little hope for a relationship with your love interest.

To sum it up, for now: quality psychotherapy and work life, two areas of focus. For social support: perhaps support groups that you can attend, groups of young men who come together to discuss common challenges, so to share and listen empathetically and respectfully.

Think of yourself as a project that needs to be managed and be your own personal manager, then do a good job at it.

anita