Kkasxo,

Aw I’m glad I can help in any tiny way. Definitely chase up the counselling, it’s an unfortunate system, but it really is she who shouts loudest, gets services. We have to fight for anything we can get.

I absolutely know what you mean about not understanding how much pain life can bring. I didn’t realise the blows human beings might have to take. I see some people who have never experienced a severe trauma and I’m so jealous. I know no-one gets a free ride in life, but someone will never have to go through heartbreak and I wish I could have been one of those people.

But if buddhists are right, heartbreak opens up our heart and souls. so maybe we become better people, so something like that! You have been dealt an horrendous blow, but you can’t undo it now. So now we must play the cards we’re dealt, as best we can, to make it out alive.

I’m ok today, I never stop thinking about him which is hard and draining but at least, no dark thoughts of the ultimate end since that Sunday a couple of weeks ago, so I guess I should be grateful for that. Keeping my head down with work. I have two very big presentations to make in a couple of weeks time and I’m really fearful thinking about it but my sister is helping me shop next weekend to get some clothes that will make me feel confident, even if I’m only faking it!

Don’t worry if you don’t make the gym, it was just an idea for an outlet, you do what feels best for you. I’m going to attempt the pool anyway and see how I get on!

Remember our pact – Oct 2019 – we will post and I bet you’ll be in a new and miraculous place! Post anytime here, I’ll always be at the end of the digital sphere!

S x