Dear John:

The relationship lasted for a year, “when we first started dating, he (her son) lived at home for the first  month and a half. And that made it kind of difficult.. It was always  about him”. Then he moved away to go to school and “our relationship really took off”, and then in the last couple of months or so, her son told her he  was  going to the Marines and that  he  didn’t  want  you to join them in Las Vegas.  You  were hurt once again  foor not being “#1 in her life”. “All  I did was be depressed”.

Her son was competition. You wanted  to be  the only  one in her life. I  understand that desire all too well, wanting to be number one. This desire is fueled by not being number one for way  too long, way before you met her.

You have felt guilty  for a long time about this relationship ending. I wish you no longer felt that guilt. You analyzed  and gained insight about  your part in the trouble, but  really, if you were back with her, you would  still be struggling not being #1, won’t  you?

anita