Dear Ben:

I like this: “in reality I am a strong independent person”. I agree and  I am glad that you see it too.

I would like you to focus on your own strength, your own independence and act accordingly in relation to this man, your love interest. When you feel clingy and angry (the two go together) shift your focus to the strong  and  independent  Ben, the real  you.

Is the relationship over or does  it have possibility- I have  little  hope for  it because of the lack of a stable, long term dating/living  together history,  because he is not very motivated to have a stable relationship with you, because of  his tendency to move  away, not to cling. He is somewhat impulsive, feels this at one  moment, forgets the  next, seems to me. And  he has  his own issues, like you wrote. You on the other hand, having displayed the clingy/ angry behaviors with him or about him, would make almost any relationship very difficult. It will take a very patient, mature, motivated and understanding individual to endure the clinginess and anger, and  it will have to  be one who is available and  prepared to give you a whole lot of attention and reassurance repeatedly.

Unless  you focus and refocus, again and again, on the strong and independent Ben, then you will be better  able  to  evaluate him or any other love interest for compatibility, and  you will be able to have a love relationship with another imperfect yet decent individual.

anita