Kkasxo,

Don’t worry, I know how you feel. I still love my ex and have not fallen out of love with him yet. I wish we could be back together but my rational side is more in control today and I realise we couldn’t be in two different places. It just doesn’t work that way. Actually you mentioned your ex and gettting a mortgage and I remember one evening my ex said to me he was thinking of putting a bid on a really cheap house in his area as an investment….just like that, without any consultation with me. Me there the whole time trying to plan our future and save and maybe we’d need a deposit at some point and he’s ready to drop a load of money on another property. He never even considered me. Now in fairness, when I expressed hurt and disappointment, he did see the error of his ways, but ultimately, although we were in a relationship and he feels he did mould and change a lot to be with me, he still hadn’t shifted the picture of the future he had in his head, when he was by himself.

Your ex wants a mortgage and has always wanted to get himself a house, but when you end up having a long term relationship, your plans have to change. That’s the nature of being in a couple. Buying a house for himself alone is just not practical now if he’s in a relationship. You have to live with someone before you make any life changing decisions.

I can’t believe you went to the gym yesterday, well done, that’s unreal. If I was in that level of pain, I’d be a mess, trembling on the floor, calling anyone and everyone! Good for you!

I have nothing planned for this weekend yet. God it’s exhausting. I know I must plan or I’m in trouble, but it would wear you down! I still think about my ex a lot, wondering is he happy having his weekends to himself again to watch footie or go to the pub with the lads and me barely hanging on by a thread, trying not to spend every moment in misery!

I’m hoping to go for a walk tonight if the weather is not too bad