Dear SeekingSolace:

You can “grow to be a better person from this”.

Let’s see  what  happened here: a girlfriend cheated  on  you, the relationship ended. You were angry, placed your anger in a room, so  to  speak, closed  the door on it and made a decision, to “use the extra time to  focus on my studies and do big things with my degree”. Next  you were  out drinking, the door of that room opened, the anger left the room and made itself  known,  Here I Am! And you “acted completely against  my principles”.

If we were robots, 100% rational creatures without the …  interruptive quality of emotions, decisions will be easy to keep on and  on, no time limit. But we are  emotional beings.  Even without the alcohol, your anger would have come up somehow, interrupting your decision somewhat. Maybe worse.

You expressed an unrealistic expectations from yourself, the expectation of operating like a robot. “it’s had  me questioning myself as a person”- I would say, question the behavior, as you did, make mental notes and  adjustments so that this particular mistake, or a similar one doesn’t happen in the future. Aim at making less mistakes, but aiming at no mistakes will cause you unnecessary distress.  As a matter  of fact, expecting to not make  mistakes, to  operate like a robot, uninterrupted by emotions,  is in itself… a big mistake, one that is hurting you and  will harm you if you repeat this one  mistake.

Aim at being  a better  person, tend to your emotions, they don’t disappear, they do have a say in how we behave and what we do, so listen to them, incorporate them into your decision making so to make your decisions wiser. Wisdom is Rational and Emotional understanding, not one or the other.

What do you think?

anita