Dear Ben:

It’s the same separation anxiety of childhood reactivated. Like I say, we keep living our childhood experience, isn’t that amazing.

What it comes  to, in practical terms, is your need for less anxiety. The motivation in your anger at him, I think, is to bring about a final separation so to no longer hope and feel the same old, same  old anxiety. You crave togetherness with him and experience anxiety in that togetherness, comfort  and anxiety in close proximity of time and presence.

Being so absorbed in this struggle of craving  for togetherness vs separation anxiety, you are not available, your mental faculties are not available to evaluate whether this man is at all compatible with you, whether it is a good idea at all to pursue togetherness with him!

A pickle of sorts, isn’t I?

anita