Kkasxo,

Thanks for saying that. Rejection is hard and it makes you question if you were good enough and to date, I still see the loss as mine. But today has been a day wherehe is more distant and fuzzy in my mind. I don’t know why that happens and different days bring different things.

I really liked his parents and if they ever thought they were holding him back they’d be devastated. But all of them don’t realise it was a subconscious thing, developed over years. I could only recognise it through the benefit of therapy. I never said to him what I learned about his situation in therapy. I felt that was up to him to figure out himself if he chose to.

Tonight im not as sad as other nights but I still want to contact him, still try and regain what I lost. Despite knowing it won’t make me happy, if there is no change. But there ya go, we can’t always control how we feel.

I hope you get something from Sarah Blondin. I find she speaks to me directly in some of her meditation podcasts.

I’m currently catching up on Strictly!