Dear Feathering:

If it is not appendicitis, what can it possibly be (did the doctor/s say what it can possibly be)? When will you find out the results of tests that were probably done? And your  appendix was cut out (although it was not the cause)? I suppose there we  don’t need that part anyway… This is causing me concern, I hope you answer me soon.

Before reading your recent post I re-read page 1 and  I have a few questions, answer if you want to, when you want to. My goal in asking is to  understand better.

First regarding your recent post, you being in the non-monogamy camp, what you mean by it is that while in a sexual relationship with one  man, it is  okay for either party (as long  as  one  is reveals  it to the other) to have sex with another person “provided it is not with someone who may threaten the integrity of  the relationship”. I wonder  what  your motivation in this kind  of a relationship- is it that  you want to have  the option  of  enjoying sex with men other than the one  boyfriend or is it that you don’t believe a man can be faithful to  one  woman, therefore  might as well un-criminalize  the behavior and maintain the  relationship (there  might be a third possibility that didn’t cross  my mind)?

Regarding page one. At first you were “unsure about him”, though you were “ok with it being a short term thing… no intention of it getting serious… you were “NOT expecting  to fall for the guy” and thought it  would be a casual relationship where parties “parted ways no hard  feelings or urges to make  it last longer”.

Later you did get those urges to  make it last longer, you “wanted  more”, the romantic part of the relationship ended, or agreed to  be  ended and changed to a friendship, but it “didn’t work out” because your feelings “got in the way” and he “laid on with compliments, was flirtatious” and “when we were  out people thought we were  dating”. So he was flirtatious with you during  this friends phase (was sex part of it?) but he started dating  someone during  that phase without telling you. And later, while  dating someone else, “he stopped  communicating” with you altogether “he wasn’t even opening my text messages… for days and days… he’d basically cut me  off”.  Later you wrote, “he gave me silent treatment for days”.

Did he give you the silent treatment beyond that one occasion you mentioned?

“By his own admission he’s a mess in relationships and has frequently ambiguous platonic/ romantic ties with women”-

* What were his words on the matter, what did he say?

And please let  me know what is  happening  with your medical crisis of yesterday???

anita