Shelby,

That is exactly how I think too. I need to understand everything. I need for something to be broken down into little bits so that I can truly understand it.

I often find myself asking questions about my ex too. Why has he done this? Why is he like this? Why doesn’t he want to move forward? Why why why? And I do agree, it is the hardest when you have so many questions unanswered. It’s unsettling and I can honestly say it makes me dwell on things for much longer than I should as I try to rationally come up with the most suitable answer myself.

Haha I had a little giggle about the comment that your ex would be thrilled that you are doing well. I know this feeling all to well. Here I am hurting at even imagining my ex getting on with life whilst it would be music to his ears to hear the same about me – does he not care for me like I care for him? Why doesn’t it hurt him that I’m getting on okay without him?

I hope you went for that walk and I hope you feel all the better for it! I don’t quite know what I’m gonna do with my evening yet. I considered taking a nap (oh how exciting my life is!) but with my current state of mind I know I will much rather be able to properly get to sleep later so to not overthink. For now I’ve settled with a hot bath. I do feel I should’ve gone to the gym to at least pass some time but I felt very weak the other day when I went so it’s probably not a good idea. I’m kinda tired of watching movies now. I want to do something productive but I don’t really know what. I think I’m having one of those days today where no distraction in the world can actually distract me!