Shelby,

Oh dear I’m sorry to hear that! My ex’s sister had Vertigo and it did not look pleasant at all so I wish you lots of rest and a speedy recovery! Did they say what could’ve brought it on? Is there anything that you can do to prevent any further outbursts? I can only imagine how difficult it is for you to withhold calling your ex to come and look after you! I find in times like these, times of need it is most difficult and most hurtful when you realise you actually don’t have anyone to call! I hope you feel better soon!

Yes, although today has been difficult it does too feel like a weight lifted off my shoulders. It feels like a new beginning… a beginning of my journey to heal!

For a long while I have avoided speaking to my family members about anything that could potentially bring up the events from the summer so not to hurt them however I disclosed to my mum today that I will be off to my first therapy appointment today. She approached me after to see how it went.. bless her she’s probably worried that I’m not doing as well as I may make out! I was honest with her and opened up about wanting to move past this horrible time in my life and that I am trying my best to rebuild my life. She then went on to mention that during her weekend away at my Auntie’s in Italy back in September my situation somehow came into conversation and it shed some light for her on what could’ve been my ex’s reasonings for his behaviour. She then went on to say that she believes if I wanted to, that he deserved a second chance provided that we reached a mutual understanding of the events around our break up. Absolute shock. She was reminiscing on the wonderful relationship that I had with him and said herself that she’s never witnessed anything like it before in her life. It was clear that we were meant to be. It is the first time she has spoken of him since June.

It doesn’t change anything as I am still unsure of how to proceed with my ex but it was nice to hear that she doesn’t completely despise him. Perhaps all this time she was on her own journey of forgiveness..