Quick update today as I am really tired and need to start going to bed on time. I have started working on the speculative application for the Swedish insurance company. I made some changes to the cv, so that is finished. I’ll start working on the cover letter tomorrow. Looking at what they do, I think the job might be too technical for me though. I’ll send in an application, but it’ll be a speculative one, so they might not have any openings anyway…

I just want to make sure I am being more mindful about what job I take this time around. It doesn’t have to be the absolute dream job, but I do want it to be closer to what I want to do, than my current job. I want it to be an improvement.  Also, I need to make sure it’ll be a job that is matching my skills. I have things I am really good at, but pretending those things are maths, numbers and lots of financial modelling is only going to cause more stress in my life, as I’ll end up getting a job which, yet again, doesn’t match my skills. I have another two jobs I want to apply for, apart from this speculative application. So I’d like to get started on at least the most important out of those two during the weekend.

As for the two applications I sent in this week, they said they will be in touch by the end of November, which I think sounds very reasonable. I don’t mind the two weeks of waiting. But I am not putting my hopes up. I don’t want to get too disappointed…

Thank you for your replies to this thread Joc, Anita and Peter! I read it all and find it encourageing to know someone is reading and following this!

I think I am pretty good at doing (some) things that I am scared of, I just wish it would not cause me such massive stress. And after having (not intentionally) lived in 5 different countries in only a little more than a year after graduation, I am so over moving around. I just want to find a place where I can stay for a while. 5-10 years maybe. Find myself a partner, maybe buy a place to live in, and get the chance to focus on other things in life other than all “life admin” that comes with moving around. But I am not so sick of moving that I am prepared to stay somewhere I don’t want to be, just so I don’t have to move again…

I have been in a really bad place mentally today. I am not going to bed on time, so I guess a lack of sleep does not make it any better. But I compare myself with some girls at the office (most of us are in our 20’s). I know not everything is what is seems, and no one has everything “toghether”. But they seem to at least have “something” going in the right direction. One has just completed a rotational trainee program, and will move to the Swiss headquarters in January, where her boyfriend will also do a rotation (in a different company). They plan to live in Zurich together for a few years. The other one has a boyfriend there who is an absolute catch, Swiss. I’m sure she’ll move there with the job in a year or two as well and unite with her bf… The third one seems like she’s just loving her job and aiming for manager position in the next year, she’s open to moving but seems happy enough here. Then there’s me; single, unfit like never before in my life, deeply unhappy, in the wrong career and soon to be unemployed living at my mum’s. They are fun, fit, good looking and going somewhere. I feel like shit looking at them. Trying to be part of their group, but it’s not easy feeling like this about myself. 🙁

So much for quick update…