Dear Lily:

I need  to get away from the  computer for the next sixteen hours or  so, but when I am back, I would like  to continue the conversation with you,  not for futile analysis but for a practical reason, so that you will feel comfortable communicating with him (and with men in general).  If you would like to answer me  before I am back, please do:

You wrote, “I felt an obligation to let him know, so that  he could make an informed decision about whether he wanted to meet me  or not”- is sex while meeting you his sole decision to make, something that is up  to him to decide on and for you to accommodate?

anita