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Reply To: I am a hypocrite and I'm ashamed of myself.

HomeForumsRelationshipsI am a hypocrite and I'm ashamed of myself.Reply To: I am a hypocrite and I'm ashamed of myself.

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Anonymous
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Dear SeekingSolace:

My advice is to bring up what is now “deep down”. What happened recently,  after her  cheating and  your experience described  page 1, is that you most recently “completely forgot about why the relationship ended and things felt normal.. It feels like it’s ended suddenly for no good reason”-

so currently there is a denial of sorts, denying that she  cheated, denying that something  significant happened that  ended the relationship, and enjoying that normal of before. Maybe she  figures that you had  your experience with another woman after  the  breakup and now the two of you are.. even.

My advice is to talk about what did happen before the  breakup, talk about her cheating, talk about whether she now thinks the two of you are even, talk about what each  of you hopes for this current (post breakup) relationship.

Every time we depart from Reality so to maintain a good feeling that is not  congruent with reality, we end up suffering unnecessarily later.

anita