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Dear Ben:
I didn’t understand what happened the day before yesterday in therapy, did she suggest a visualization after you told her during the earlier session that you disliked visualization exercises? If so, she was inattentive to you and made a big mistake. To find a good therapist may be as difficult as finding a good partner in life.. almost. Many are simply not attentive enough, don’t care enough, are not skillful, are distracted etc.
If she is not a good therapist, better not see her again.
You wrote: “I can’t just be here, in my room (alone as usual)… I want to meet people but only because I crave attention again not because I want to meet new people”-
my input: it is natural to crave attention and to want to meet old.. and new people. We are social animals, it is natural, no man is an island. I hope you don’t feel badly about being human. I suggested to you in my last post to focus on work/ career, but true, the social need has to be satisfied somewhat. So why not meet new people, but on your terms. Not compromising your values for that purpose?
anita