Hi, I’m new here and am going through the same thing. My husband and I met online back in 2000. We both wrote on the same site, sent each other feedback and it just grew from there. But I lived in New Jersey and he lived in England so we would just message each and talk about movies and wrestling. After a year, I actually flew to England and we met face to face. After 3 years of back and forth, he proposed and we got married in 2004. He moved here and now says he needs to figure out what he wants to do with his life. Much like you, Sierra, he has a girl friend he works with that he talks to and confides in though he says they’re just friends (she has a fiance she lives with) I did start worrying about them and we talked about it. But while I thought talking it out would help us worth through (as well as a few counseling sessions) but he felt nothing changed. I guess I’m lucky that we had no children but after nearly 18 years of being a part of my life, you can just walk away? I took some clothes and left our apartment a couple of days ago but I feel like I’m giving in too easily. At the same time I know I can’t force him back into our marriage. I’m just lost. I want to fix things but like John said, the partner HAS to want it. And I don’t think he does.