Idk if this will help you, but I think you answered your own question.

My plan right now is to work on me. Period. I’m not going to attempt to manipulate the process or throw wrenches into her decision. I respect my wife enough to give her the space she requires, even if it means going through with a divorce. 

Do this. And only this. Don’t think about it any other way. If you’re meant to be, she’ll find her way back to you. If you get back together but you kinda manipulated it, it wouldn’t feel honest anyway. You’d feel like you had some influence over it, then if there’s any trouble in the future, you’ll blame yourself again. So, let the universe or fate or whatever bring you back together.