Dear nickita:

You are welcome. “Chat directly” with me?  If so, no, I communicate with members only on this site.

By pausing the relationship I mean not to stop responding to him “out of the  blue” but to tell him that you don’t  want to be his second choice, that  it  is not  okay with you that he is interacting with a woman to whom he  is sexually attracted to, away from the  presence  of her husband on one hand and away from your presence  on the other. You can suggest that he  includes you and her husband in the communication, so it  is  open and free from any element of an emotional affair (one carrying sexual elements).

You asked: “would a  guy really hold  out for someone while dating seriously?”- from your own account, the answer is yes.

It is uncomfortable for you to stand up for what you believe, isn’t it? Afraid to lose him if you do that?

anita